And the winning entry is:

Congratulations to Ross for submitting such a universally recognized sentiment, a sentiment many writers and wannabe creative types can readily identify with, writers who wonder why they aren't famous even though they have a web site and a MySpace page with a several hundred friends who I don't know personnally. Yeah, Ross, thanks for bringing it up. Your prize package worth possibly something is being gathered this weekend.

Here are a few more entries we received for the "What is in the Hand? Contest:

-"Democrat gonads" submitted by MC Karl Rove

-"Dear Mr. Rove: Sir, pardon us, but I believe your statement is incorrect. It should be 'Democratic gonads'. Please consider this phrasing if you would be so kind. Or maybe not" submitted by Harry Reid and Chuck Schumer

-"A human eyeball won in a divorce settlement by an ex-husband" submitted by Sandy Duncan

-"A raccoon's paw bitten off in a beaver fight" submitted by Marlin Perkins

-"Melting cherry JELL-O® retrieved from mother's underpants" submitted by Tony Perkins

-"A small turnip" submitted by G. Steinbrenner

-"A nasty papercut sustained while handling a stack of hooker invoices" submitted by M. Twilling, lobbyist

-"Gotcha nose!" submitted by Grandpa Joe

-"Give me my freaky...I mean, freakin' nose" submitted by Michael Jackson

-"Leaky red ink pen used to grade papers discovered in teacher's abandoned desk drawer after she takes off to Mexico with her awesome thirteen-year-old student/lover" submitted by K. Peterson

"The first fresh mountain oyster of the season" submitted by Erskine "Plywood" Muckler

Some entries were submitted anonymously*

- Marie Antoinette's final breath

- Hillary's left nut sack

- 13 pounds of Mississippi back strap (13 oz of Mississippi squirrel meat)

- Mr. Furry - Wondermouse

- Franz Kafka's tubercular lung trickle

- Meat and lots of it

- Hot gooey loads of syphilitic manjuice

- Hey, was that a gooseliver?

- A small heard of wild, tooth-knashing deer

- Bestial love gristle

- The intestinal tract of the rare Alsatian Musk Elk

- A triple-bladed pokey thing

- Twelve dozen consumptive snail nostrils

- Paul Lynde's "love whistle"

- Six Sanguine Jelly Worms

- The last pulsing ounce of America's soul

*collected by Diana Grove of American Sideshow.

Thanks to all who participated (I'm looking at you Ross).