Captain Canard | Holiday Clipart

Captain Canard

An Experiment in Demented Wit, Deranged Absurdity, and Odd Humor

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Santa Sings

Santa is playing a piano and is singing: Whatcha gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely Santa lumps.

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There's Something About Santa

Santa is peering through the handles of a pair of scissors while reading a paper. The caption reads: It was apparent that Santa's senile dementia had progressed.

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Santa TV

Santa is standing beside a television set. Santa says: Buy this lovely cable-ready television before Christmas and I'll include a one-year subscription to the elf porn channel free!

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Santa's Special Delivery

Santa is pulling back a curtain to reveal a nude, young lady. Santa says: Time for Santa to deliver a special present from his sack.

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Santa's List

Two little boys are watching Santa place decorations on a Christmas tree. One little boy says: Caught ya fatman! Were you going to eat the star and balls again? The other little boy says: Yeah, fatty! Santa says: Congratulations! You two assholes just made my fuck you list.title=

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Santa Makes a Call

Santa is talking on the telephone. He says: Listen carefully, motherfucker. If I don't receive my PS 3 order by tomorrow, I'm sending the fucking elf. And believe me, you don't want to mess with Little Stabby Sweetleaf.

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Santa's Plan

Santa is standing beside an overstuffed bag of toys. He says: Next year, I'm outsourcing this fucking job!

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Stocking Fetish

A man and woman are in stockings hanging over a fireplace. The man is clearly sexually excited. The woman says: When you said you had a stocking fetish, I was thinking of something else.

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Holiday Clipart
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