Captain Canard | Clipart Comedy Collection 3

Captain Canard

An Experiment in Demented Wit, Deranged Absurdity, and Odd Humor

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No Friends

04.09.10

As a man with archery equipment takes aim at a group of children playing on monkeybars, a little boy to the side exclaims: Dad! You're the reason I have no friends!!

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Daddy's Little Girl

A little girl is holding up a hat. She says: Look, Mother. I found Father's hat in Aunt Penelope's bedroom.

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Baby Candy

A baby is holding and looking at a lollipop saying: I'm gonna lick you real good, you sweet, sweet delicious bitch!

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Building a Snowman

Two little girls are building a snowman. The snowman has a carrot sticking out of it right below waist-level. One little girl says to the other: Yes, I'm sure. Uncle Floyd showed me his.

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Carving a Pumpkin with Grandma

A boy and his cat are staring at a carved pumpkin and a skull on a table. The boy says: Gee, Cousteau, do you think it looks like Grandma? The cat says: Fuck no! That's worse than last year when we used Grandpa!

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Classroom Lesson

A teacher is standing at a chalkboard in front of a group of children. A drawing of a horse is on the board. The teacher says: Children, the horse is nature's perfect animal. This majestic creature is suitable for riding, eating, or fucking--much like the emu.

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Costume Contest

Once again, Bobby and Lisa lose the Halloween costume contest after arriving as Captain Cameltoe and Princess Pudendum.

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Mother's Muff

A mother, walking with her children, is warming her hands in a muff. The little boy beside her says: Oh Mom, your muff looks absolutely magnificent! May I pet it? The little girl says: Mother dear, I hope one day to have a muff as big as yours.

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Pillow Fight Mishap

Two boys are having a pillow fight. The older boy on the left is about to smash the younger, smaller boy with his pillow. The older boy says: Bomb's away, bitch! The caption reads: A friendly pillow fight turns into a trip to the emergency room when little Andy suffers a concussion after being hit with Jasper's rock-hard, cum-dried pillow.

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Playful Duster

Two little girls are sitting in chairs. The one on the left is holding a dustpan, the one on the right is holding a duster. The one on the right is playfully putting the duster in the other little girl's face. The girl with the dustpan says: Cut it out, bitch, or I'll fuck you up with this dustpan!!

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Wagon Ride

04.09.10

A stuffed teddy bear riding in wagon pulled by a toddler says to him: Do you even know where the fuck you are going?

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