Captain Canard | Clipart Comedy Collection 2

Captain Canard

An Experiment in Demented Wit, Deranged Absurdity, and Odd Humor

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Attempted Apology

09.19.09

Man speaking to a distraught woman: I'm sorry I traded your dildo for Yu-Gi-Oh cards, but I didn't know you were that emotionally attached to it.

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Granny's Endorsement

04.09.10

Granny is holding a box of Lever's Wisehead Royal Disinfectant Soap Powder. Granny says: Take it from Granny, with Lever's Wisehead Royal Disinfectant Soap Powder, you can kiss those motherfucking skid marks goodbye!

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Cocktail Seduction

A woman sits on a bench, legs slightly open, facing a cocktail drink. The caption reads: Majorie practices her seduction skills on the lonely cocktail.

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Holiday Promises

An older woman is placing a turkey on the table while an older man looks on, hands touching the woman's shoulders. The man says: Later tonight, sweetie, I'm stuffing you like a turkey. The woman replies: You'll have to do it the way I did, you impotent old fool--with your fist!

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Home Study

04.09.10

Martha performs surgery on a cadaver lying on a table. Every night after completing her chores on the farm, Martha diligently trained to become a vivisection surgeon using a home study kit (cadaver included).

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Milky Proposition

A man is watching a woman milk a cow. The man says: I got something for you to milk. The cow says: Well, let's see it, big boy. Where's the beef?

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A Special Cup of Joe

A man and woman are drinking cups of coffee. The man says: Have you ever had a coffee enema? The woman says: Why, yes I have. In fact, you're drinking it now; my special mocha ass blend with a bit of fecalnut. The man says: Delicious!

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Appointment at Sea

A picture of a needle piercing through an arm. The caption reads: Despite rough seas, Lars kept his appointment with the ship's neophyte acupuncturist.

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Writer's Prompt Photo - Thermometer

A hand is holding a huge thermometer. The caption reads: As the doctor giggles, you let out a gasp when your temperature is taken rectally.

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A Routine Gynecological Examination

A hand holds up a fish with tongs. The caption reads: During a routine gynecological examination, Dr. Collins discovers the source of Harriett's unpleasant odor.

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Clipart Comedy Collection 1
Clipart Comedy Collection 2
Clipart Comedy Collection 3
Holiday Clipart
Photo Comedy Collection
Endorsement Clipart Collection