Captain Canard | Clipart Comedy Collection 1

Captain Canard

An Experiment in Demented Wit, Deranged Absurdity, and Odd Humor

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Fun Hatch

Doctor holds up a newborn baby and says: Holy shit! Look what I found in your fun hatch!

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Customer Service

A man is holding a pen up. He says: If you don't shut the fuck up about customer service training, I'm going to stab you in the eye with this pen.

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Moulin Douche

Petite Pete performing mobile cleansing services on a customer.

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Tournament Entertainment

A hand holds up two balls. The caption reads: As the scores were tallied at the Scrabble tournament, Phil entertained the crowd by deftly
juggling his mother's Ben Wa balls.

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Dinner Conversation

A man and woman are sitting at a table having dinner. A cat is rubbing against one of the table legs. The man says: What? I just asked if I could pet your pussy under the table.

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Welcome Home

09.12.09

As Jack carefully slinked through the front door after a late night of carousing, Dawn prepared to welcome him home with a bowling ball to the crotch.

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The Butler Said It

The butler is looking at a young lady wearing a dress. Her backside protrubes noticeably. The butler says: If you don't mind me saying madam, you do indeed got back.

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Art Exhibit

A man and woman are looking at a framed painting in an art gallery. The woman says: This looks like something you did in your diaper this morning.

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Phoning Home

04.09.10

A man is freefalling during a parachute jump. He is talking on the phone because after releasing the chute, a bouquet of flowers is released from the parachute pack instead. The man says on the phone: Hey, honey, how's it going? Say, what the fuck did you do with my parachute?

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Hadley's Entrée

An older gentleman, Hadley, is sitting at a table, staring at a plate. On the plate is a bloody, severed hand. The caption reads: Though the dish appeared appetizing, Hadley was almost certain he received the wrong entrée.

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Murder Mystery

Local residents were frightened and perplexed when they heard details about the Texas Seesaw Massacre.

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